There have been many times since Addisyn was born that I have contemplated what she really needs versus what society says she needs. When did "research" become a better parenting aid than instinct, or better yet signs and cues from your baby? Sure, there has been plenty of advice based on research that I have followed, mostly those things to prevent SIDS. But what about the other things?
Nursing a Baby to Sleep:
This is a big no-no in the minds of a lot of people - it goes along with other rules such as not rocking a baby to sleep, or not taking them for rides in the car to put them to sleep. The reasoning behind these recommendations is that you don't want your baby to get used to being put to sleep in such ways otherwise they will have trouble falling asleep on their own.
I never rock Addisyn to sleep, nor do I count on car rides to get the job done, but I will nurse her to sleep anytime thank-you very much! Look at all of the other mammals in the world who all nurse their young, is there someone there to pull the babies off of their mothers before they can fall asleep while nursing? What about people in other societies, the societies where breastfeeding is more prevalent and lasts much, much longer than it does on average in the US? (The global average for breastfeeding is 4 years, in the US it is well under 6 months). Yet other cultures and other species seem to have no problems when their babies are nursed to sleep (or at least I have yet to see research indicating that wolf pups are unable to put themselves to sleep).
Sleeping With Your Baby:
It's called co-sleeping. While I would not officially call myself a co-sleeping parent, I will lay down with Addisyn to take a nap during the day most days (while nursing her to sleep - *gasp*!). Addisyn is just not much of a napper, and she never has been. In fact it's rare that she even sleeps for an hour in one stretch during the day. It has really only been the past month or two that I've done these day time naps with her, but it is really the only way I will get a nap if I need one, and she does occasionally sleep a little longer when we sleep together.
These are probably the two biggest rules I break in one way or another. But we have gotten so much parenting advice from our pediatrician that I struggle with on a daily basis, and I believe it is because my instincts (or sometimes just my brain) are telling me it's just not right; letting a baby cry it out for instance. I am not one of those parents who runs to their child every time she cries in the middle of the night, and if it sounds like she might calm down on her own I will give her some time to see what happens. But I can tell when she is crying and is not going to be able to calm herself down. During times like these I will do the next recommended thing: try calming her and soothing her without picking her up. Fortunately this works a lot of the time. If it doesn't we move onto rocking (only until she's drowsy), and then feeding is a last resort.
While we do follow a lot of the rules that "research" has shown is "best" for our babies I just think that many of these recommendations go sometimes go beyond what a baby is ready for. Other animals know when it is time for their young to leave the den, to be weaned, to begin learning how to hunt, etc., and I think that we as people have these instincts too, so why not use them? People always say that too many kids grow up too quickly - is society driving them to do so?
One last point that I believe applies... I recently watched a National Geographic special called "Science of Babies" that covers development during the first year of life. One point they make (and I have heard other places) is that in comparison to other animals, people are born well before they are ready to be physically. Almost all other terrestrial mammals are born able to walk shortly after birth, but it takes humans nearly a year, maybe longer to be able to do this. It is because of human anatomy that our babies must be born completely helpless; if human gestation was longer than 9 months babies wouldn't fit through their mother's pelvis during birth. Human beings are essentially still fetuses for the first several months of life.
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